Skinny suit- TA DA!

It's the holidays! The time when you eat nothing but junk and regret it all come New Years. Then step on the scale New Years day (hung over for some) and say THAT'S IT THIS YEAR... yeah yeah yeah... well I decided (for those keeping track) this year (and I mean 2012) was going to be totally different. I am not referring to the drunk part!
I figured the whole wait to the holidays to make a life altering decision is just plan stupid. Besides last time I checked the holidays are the busiest, most stressful, and MOST delicious time of the year. Is that cheesecake? Sorry, I digress (what I am saying- this ADD laced blog is just one continuous reminder that Adults often blog off the top off their heads and if they write the way they think- it's WAY much more funnier!) as I was saying... trying to create, make, start a "diet" during the holidays is just plan STUPID! Besides who goes to a holiday BUFFET of the greatest food on earth created by your best friends and says, "Oh, thanks, but I'm only eating carrots". If they don't take you to the ER to have you checked out- they aren't your real friends- get new ones! Besides, if I went to all that hard work to put out a spread and you show up to my house and clear out the carrots on my veggie tray... get out! Seriously- get out! At least eat the celery too, that is just water- and totally meaningless to your stupid diet!

Okay back to me... so in my quest for all things perfect in my life. Cause someday that will happen, really stick around, just wait and see! I decided back in September (a totally safe month) to tackle my weight. See let's look at the months... You have October- Halloween HELL- Candy galore! Who can start a diet during a month dedicated to buying candy? Next up- November- Now if you are like me you know that the word "stuffing" isn't just a food. I mean how many people have gone to a place where they gave up on having the meal at the table because all the dishes cover the table? THAT'S a meal! And leftovers... do I need to say more? Then comes December! I don't know about you, but I know my calendar reads like a rolling food party with drinks in between! What a month! Cookies, treats, drinks, awesome foods, and that's just lunch! Okay, maybe not the drinks ;) (well pending the day). Then there are the "gifts". Good grief! Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a BOX of cookies, candy, and other SUPER yummy treats. Yep- totally a time to start a diet! But wait! I had a plan!!! Seriously! Stop laughing!!!!! I mean it!
Going back to September, you remember, non food holiday month... I mean who celebrates Christopher Columbus getting lost in the ocean cause he wouldn't ask for directions (typical man) then landing totally in a different place then where he thought he was (it wasn't the indies buddy) but the world wasn't flat either- good call- but you were totally south from where you thought too- only to then say you discovered a place that people were living- ah- you missed the part about "people already living"- I think that means they discovered it.... but I guess that's just details... who am I to talk history, anyway... GPS would have really helped ya! - sorry getting back kinda- So September- the no reason to eat because no real celebration month. There is a birthday in my family, but they're in Ohio (sniff) (we will NOT be discussing birthday's as part of this blog because well... that is just totally unfair!). Here's where I get real!
I had my son 16 years ago (I know shocking! I look way too young, it's okay). And my daughter 10 years ago... (I know still a shock- still with the young thing... it's okay)... I have never been able to lose my.... let's call it "baby fat". By the numbers- told you I was going get real!
Before Erik- 130, After Erik 210 (a bed rest did NOT help) I did get down as low as 150 but that was about it.... and never for too long.
Before Elizabeth 165, After Elizabeth 208 (amazing what love and support during a pregnancy can do).
Over the last 10 years I have yo-yo'd to the lowest at 150 (my sister's wedding).
This past September I stepped on the scale and a tear rolled down my cheek as I looked and saw 181.2 staring back at me. Talk about just yuck! I have never been real worried about the number, despite the fact that I step on the scale ah like every time I step into my bathroom (not healthy I know, don't bother telling me!). So it was then... I was done... I have a gym membership. I started to actually use it (good plan!). It was September! I decided I wasn't going to diet, those doesn't work. Instead, I'm just going to be smart. Eat breakfast, (duh- not donuts, but healthy stuff) eat healthy lunches (salads are actually good), eat small dinners, eat SMALL everything! Why when the "portion size" says one thing do we then eat 3 portions? We are just plain stupid- and fat! Oh and I was going to get my butt off the couch- even when I didn't want to. The holidays were coming, and if I had any chance of survival I needed to be ready...
They came! Halloween first... I love my Butterfingers! Twizzlers... YUM! But snack size! I started using Spark People to track everything back in September- and I mean everything! How much water I drank, exercise, food, and received great tips. That was the beginning. I knew everyday if I was "doing it" right, or missing the mark. I would get so totally excited, and it really made me start making better choices. I could EAT my Butterfingers, my Twizzlers... I just couldn't eat the WHOLE bag (dang it!). Oh, and the gym... For those that know me, I can be a sports nut. I'll try anything at least once. That said I am not afraid of the gym, just certain things about the gym. For instance, the treadmill and I do not get along. It's not that I don't know how to walk or run. But seriously, that is total pain- I mean it! Put me on an elliptical- I can give you a 5k any day! A bike... where are we headed? It's all about finding what works! And I have... Weights- no sweat! See my MS Blog for stories on my sweat/ heat issues... No joke- I don't sweat- seriously!
So here I am... Back to the holiday count down... Today is the last day of the year... Thanksgiving- over, Christmas- survived... and tonight the ball drops! This morning I had to go to work (totally bummer), and like any morning I went into my bathroom and like every other time I walk in there I jumped on the scale (this happens probably 10 times a day- no joke). What to my wondering eye would it say... 157! Now I am far from done- not even close, But every time I get a new number on a scale I try on some clothes I haven't been able to wear... (I know this is a LONG blog to get to the title- thanks for hangin').

So without further ado... I bring to you one of my "Skinny suits"

 Now I would be totally remiss if I didn't bring up one of my closest friends Megan (click her name for her journey) who constantly is an inspiration to me! Thank you for your brutal honesty and ability to put yourself out there!
So enjoy some holiday cheer this last day of the New Year, and remember... don't make any resolutions today, tomorrow... that is just plain silly!

Seriously a Cliff?

I can think of a million things to use as an analogy but this whole "fiscal cliff" has had me thinking... for one- several people have pointed out if at any point the statement became "we won't pay Congress if this doesn't get resolved"  I'm betting we would seeing the fastest work by our elected officials in history! Yet they seem to want to scare US the ones that put THEM in office to make the tough decisions by holding what over our heads? - Medicare, Social Security, even military checks. So let me fully understand this. Social Security- the average Grandma gets what $1,500 to $2,500 a month (I'm being conservative OH I KNOW). The average military check- let's for grins and giggles say- it's about the same...
Now I know we have LOTS in both categories... THANK YOU to both! To our elderly you have created things in your time, that well... we wouldn't be where we are without, and to our military- let's face it- I had a great nights sleep last night because at no point did I worry about a bombing in my neighborhood (can't say that for people in some overseas neighborhoods).
Getting back... so let's look at those those decision-makers- the people who can't figure out what to do right now, yet who walk in the door making a 6 figure salary the day they are elected. Lets be conservative (I have so far why stop now) Check the link for your area-  Representative Salaries-YIKES Starting at $175K JUST for themselves not staff! So the $14,500 a month the PERSON gets paid (NOT COUNTING STAFF) is frozen until they figure it out (because after all the peeps working for them aren't at fault- really?)  Bill Nelson - FL, SERIOUSLY? $3.3 MILLION dollars on staff??? Now I am not just signaling him out as the only crazy spender- I happen to live in Florida, and he happens to Represent me- he is my Senator. But the first link I provided is telling... and I am pretty sure that there are some grandmas out there that wouldn't mind being an "aide" during the process to help solve the problem since most of them seem to make $15k-30k in 6 months ($2,500- 5,000 a month - see above if you've lost track and forget how many states we have)... Now yes, there are those "Interns" that make far less, but they are also doing FAR less, and work maybe 15 hours total... for that- they walk away with a grand or two... frustrated yet? I don't know about you but the only thing I feel now regarding the "cliff" is sending some elected officials over it! In the wise words of sports "C'mon man!"
Each election its the same finger pointing, name calling, mud slinging game... problem, in the end we PAY large dollars to our elected officials in good faith to take care of our needs and represent US. But how many people are they actually representing if their salary STARTS at $175K? I understand there are expenses... and it seems so do they! For some more than others! But while we figure out how to pay our car payment, rent, electric, medications... they are deciding on IF they are going to pay our elderly, our military out of the same funds THEY themselves get paid... OUR money. (Yes I know there are all sorts of funds set up and each has its own purpose)
Along time ago, something went wrong. Maybe it was the first raise they gave themselves and realized the power they have, sure cost of living hurts. But maybe they need to remember that. I currently work for a local government that has elected NOT to give raises to certain levels of employees for over 5 years now (me included). Last I checked the world has not stopped raising prices on oh, I don't know- EVERYTHING! But they had to do something to control costs, so they did... The Federal government is out of control! When you can cut, cut, cut... and not look at yourself first, that is just ridiculous! It's just a matter of time before it's not a cliff people need to worry about, but a closed sign that will blanket whole areas of small towns and large...

 Feel we are going to need these!
Lifesavers Hard Candy, Wint-O-Green, 41-oz. (Google Affiliate Ad)

Time

Every two weeks its the same... time sheets are due. And every two weeks it becomes the same discussion. Did you? Were you? Explain... After I do... then the same... it gets signed... Oh how I would love just once not to jump throw the hoops to get to the same results. Mind you I often have to jump through the hoops more than once. Code this, code that- explain this, explain that...
Every two weeks....
Time... I guess it can be very complicated!

My baby

Sometimes something happens during a day that just breaks your heart. Yesterday Elizabeth dressed up in pink for her presentation on Eleanor Roosevelt. She selected her because her great grandmother who recently passed had met her and she was very proud of that. Her speech was unbelievable, I was and am so impressed! She knew her stuff! Great eye contact, just a natural! But before she ever said a word a bunch of kids were teasing her for what she wore. The normal Tom girl was crushed. She still gave a great presentation, but was really hurt. What the heck is wrong with kids? Her teacher did handle it, but I was so sad to see how it affected her. Off went the cute little skort and on went a pair of gym shorts. I talked with her about not letting people get to you but its hard to say as I stand in front of the mirror getting ready. While I often don't wear make-up, its not because I'm lazy, its because I want people to know I'm beautiful, just me... And so is my baby!

The simple things

I have found the easier something is the harder people make it. Why? I have no clue! Parking a car... seems simple enough. You find a spot, pull in, turn off the car- simple. Oh, but NO! First, after you find your blessed spot you have to make sure you annoy someone by making sure they wanted it (WHAT- really?). Then pull in super slow showing your prize spot (ah, I needed the exercise anyway, and the car you are parked next to clearly doesn't care about their car so enjoy your door ding). Once you are finally, and I do mean finally, in your spot you notice that guy who doesn't care for his car guy is a little close to your car (better adjust at least 5-6 more times cause your stellar driving/parking job got in there so perfect the first 8 times). NOW, now you are finally in your spot... thanks for holding the rest of us up so we couldn't continue on our journey to find our own spots! And I love the way you climb out of your car and look around at the line of cars and give them a dirty look... classy!
Next simple thing- help me understand PLEASE the people that will ask for help without asking for help... "somethings wrong with my computer, all my stuff is missing" (ah is that my cue to become the geek squad and come over and hit "restart"?- cause I am NOT our IT department- give them a call). If you have a question that I can actually fix, sounds good, otherwise let the people we pay fix it! And the copier- when it says it needs paper... that means OPEN the DOOR and put it in the little trays, not send me an email letting me know the copier isn't working we should call a repair man- just a thought!
Simple thing number 3- Holidays... Yes, the season is upon us! It's here! At work is a great time to be festive and enjoy one another... or not! When planning an office party, generally the idea is to enjoy yourself. Serving others is great and noble. But having an "office party" in the name of solely serving others (that come for food only and seriously have a million other parties to go to) is a serious waste... While every other group has an "office party" and enjoys each other... being a soup kitchen for people that clearly don't need it is just, well, sickening! Let them get back to their wine... I'd rather spend my time at a real soup kitchen if I'm going to be made to "serve" a 100 people!
Up to number 4! While most people may not realize this- I'm actually a super nice person! I love people, and I love helping people. I think if everyone took 2 hours out of their week and did something for someone else... it would be that simple- the world would just be better!
Number 5- This is it (for today)- regardless of your political or religious beliefs, the whole fiscal cliff is just plain ridiculous! How SIMPLE can it be to look at something and say- shoot we are about to put an end to the world (okay maybe that's a bit drastic- or not) but really it can't be that hard to look at a problem and say let's fix this, put our egos aside and do what's right. I would think, no I would hope that is one of the simplest things!
Sometimes I wish we could vote everything "American Idol" style... a few nights and bam! You know the winner Press 1 for yes, press 2 for no... raise taxes to offset this... you have until 12 pm Central time to vote. Dial 1888-congres1 for yes call 1-888-congres2 for no... phone lines are open now... You only get one vote... No cheating! Your phone line will be disconnect for ah... year if you try to robo dial... AHAHAHA! Yeah, a girl can laugh or dream!
Can you image our Presidential elections? The shear money saved on campaigns? Instead they should have to donate that craziness into the debt! Yep... the simple things...

Ahh...
I would love to hear from all of you! Leave a comment! Let me know YOUR simple things... Please feel free to share my blog with your friends, cause well... it's simple ;)
Thanks for reading!
Aubri

Shoe intervention

Not for me... for them! I have some shoes, okay a lot of shoes! Boots, sandals, flip-flops, running shoes, dress shoes, I have shoes. Different colors and by all means different styles. Some I have in their boxes, some I've had since high school- YES High school! My parents have always said, "take care of quality and it will take care of you!" I remember a pair of boots my father bought me in 10 or 11 grade. They were just beautiful, leather, to my knee... I took very good care of them... to the point they made it to Florida. Now I'm not going to get into age, but let's just say when they had met their day (yes, tears were shed) my son was headed to middle school. The fight not to bury them in the back yard was strong.
My husband (God gave him such patients and love for me) set "rules" for me a while back- two out for one in. Seems reasonable- but then he's the shopper! And let me tell you he can find the deals... so when it comes to shoes, he becomes my crack! Bringing home TWO pairs of boots (one in each color) AND a pair of shoes he just happened to find... Or two pairs of boots in different styles cause well he liked them both! (Ah, isn't that supposed to be MY argument?)
    Now before any one gets all high and mighty and goes and reports me to the shoe police- please note I do donate NICE shoes that I haven't worn to death- and I highly recommend you do the same (same thing with your purses). Women who are struggling to make ends meet and are trying to get back into the workforce can not afford $45-$60 shoes (I can't either to be honest- that's why the letters S A L E are my favorite!) so make good use of that "spring cleaning" all year long!
So back to that great guy I'm married to- Ladies I know you are going to print this and put it on your fridge at eye level where the beer is kept (LOL) Ha! So My husband decided my shoe (let's call it situation) area was a mess back in our walk in closet (we shared) apartment days... I guess sharing wasn't his thing, or maybe having to step over my shoes, I'm not sure. In any case he bought me these GREAT shelves at Target...

Notice something missing... yeah SHOES! They are great! While we were in our apartment they were all in our closet serving their purpose like champs (most of the time). Then we moved into our house and I got my own closet (should I have taken that personally- HECK NO!). Well the roof leak of March or April or maybe September 2010 or 2011 can't keep track caused my closet to have to be emptied (don't worry only a couple of shoes were lost) and this unit came out... Funny how things come out and then find new purpose! Everyone needs a "hat, blanket, fudge stripe cookie" shelf. Makes you think of the riddle which of these things does not belong? CLEARLY IT'S THE HAT! It totally isn't my coloring!

So back to the actual closet... one side and the other... look you see what 3-4 pairs of shoes! great use of space!

 

Then the floor of the closet- ah still missing the match to that cute boot!



Back to the juicy parts- one thing I have noticed when it comes to shoes, just like clothes, shoes lie! It's true, and it isn't nice! Thus the recent need for my closet shoe intervention. But first the back story (yeah I know this rant is getting long winded enough... blah blah blah). I have a pair of shoes I LOVE, they are super cute... BUT while they say they are a certain size... they lie! So my shoes had enough of their lies and staged a closet intervention... and cleaned up a little while they were at it... some interesting things came to light.

You can't fool these guys!!! They know that size counts! And so do my toes!

So with that everyone "came out of the closet" for this season's selection of who will stay and who will go... the end results were wonderful! And to the ladies that will receive the non-winners, best of luck to you in your endeavors! Make them proud!

I am happy to say that the shelves are now FILLED with what... SHOES!

The best part (and rather funny part) is with all this in mind... living in Florida... I rather be barefoot (just like the wine) as much as possible!

Love your life

I know I rant regularly... I'm good for it! But truth be told, I just call things the way I see them. Rant away someone once said... But in that I want everyone to remember live your life to the fullest. Love life, love those in it, and cherish everything... Even my rants!

'Tis the... whatever!

While I normally try to avoid rants on holiday spirit and cheer... sorry! Today its unavoidable. Your car is NOT a reindeer. Sorry, I hate to be the barer of such horrible news, but your car looks down right stupid, IN FLORIDA no less, all dressed up like a fricken reindeer with a big red nose in the front.
I will admit on some of the cars that really shouldn't even be classified as cars (the crash test report on them proves my point) does make the argument for their excuse. They are small enough that at first glance you think the car is smiling because it knows how stupid it looks. But the rest of you... shame shame! Especially you monster truck drivers! The ones that go as far as to demasculate (seems like the perfect word) a perfectly great looking truck with those stupid antlers yet keep the "truck nuts" (if you have no idea what I am talking about- ah GOOGLE search- but do not order them!!!)- please go have your heads examined... other cars are simply laughing at every stop light... (yes I said cars) I am sure you haven't figured it out.

A breif history on how it all went so terribly wrong (looking at my grandparents photos I see NO decorated cars- then again I see barely any cars -kidding)

It all started when people started dressing their cars like trees. You'd see wreaths on the front bumper. (I always envisioned someone driving through a mother-in-laws front door out of frustration, backing up and taking the wreath as a trophy.- yes I have had that vision myself) Then came the Christmas lights. I often wondered how many dead batteries those cause cause ya got to figure they are hooked up, ah, "correctly". My favorite are the SUV's & mini-vans with the roof racks covered in garland. I'm sure driving through the woods "collecting" that stuff on the roof rack was the exact look you were going for... no? Well that's what it looks like- well, the bows are a nice touch- but it still misses! Normally when stuff gets "stuck" in your roof rack you take it out, not drive around for a season and accessorize.
People, its your car, that thing that gets you from point A to point B! If you continue to treat it like your little chihuahua and dress it up with all that "bling"... it will ditch you! Or at least it should! I would!

So tis the season to cut people off in the parking lot (that will be a whole other blog rant you horrible shoppers!) to get that not so great parking spot in the pouring rain (I'm good- I need the exercise anyway), and remember as you are out on the road swerving in and out of traffic trying to read this on your smart phone (thanks by the way!) that CUTE super clean, super spotless (okay when my kids aren't aloud near it), super great smelling (see comment regarding kids) car you just cut off might have been ME- NOT COOL! Enjoy the season... Happy Driving!

Oh- a shameless plea... I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to comment, let me know where you're from and you're "Season" grip...

NOT YELLING!

I am quitely sitting in my area at work screaming in my head! I am not sure what it is about this time of year that makes people completely brain dead. Is it the cookies, the egg nog, or pies? Whatever it is I have to wonder if people wake up and flip a coin as to if they will bring their brain with them or not. My guess is they don't bother looking at the coin, that would require effort.

Back to my sitting... I made a statement about "work"... I know weird uh? And the strangest thing happened I was asked to quite down... too late in the day for that sort of thing! Surely I was hearing things. Okay, I know that I really wanted to be working on a nice glass of wine. I wish! Knowing I have to leave my desk, return to my house (where dinner is waiting for me only because I have an AWESOME husband and a crockpot) and finish a paper that I have totally put off... GOD HELP ME! Yeah... yelling!

So I am hoping to pull up my big girl panties, suck it up, stop screaming in my head long enough to not kill someone on the road, make it home in time to finish my paper and get my reward... you know it... WINE!

Am I the only one out there?

A little victory

Okay, I'll admit it... going home is always good for the soul but bad for the hips. NORMALLY! I mean who doesn't love Sky Way? I know I'm about to unleash a huge debate on which one is better... to be honest- I love them both- equally! Give me a Galley boy and a peanut butter malt any day of the week, instant food coma. But I'll keep saying it, this time it's different. This time I can't fail. This time when I walk the stage again for my diploma, it will be a totally different me that's walking.
I like getting on the scale (I have a little issue with the scale to be honest and hop on it 20 times a day- no joke) and seeing that this morning it went down. Maybe not super down, but down just continues to give me hope. Now I am not saying I am ready for my close up just yet. Hold on a minute there all you magazine people! But I am getting there... slowly...

It's that time of year again!

Working through it

I return to work tomorrow... yep. After one of the hardest times in my life I am headed back to work with what will be no doubt at least an hour of Q & A. Really the only thing I want to do is go in, got to my desk and do my job. I would think that wouldn't be that hard to ask, but sometimes, that seems like requesting a body organ. In the grand scheme of things I know I shouldn't complain. After all I do have a job, and I know for that I am blessed. Don't get me wrong, I know there are alot of people in this world that are suffering. I have never lost my perspective, never lost touch with the fact there are others out there who have it worse. I enjoy what I do, I enjoy the people I help. It's the grind I could do without, and that is really sad.
Anyway, tomorrow we shall she how this extremely sarcastic chick handles the day since she won't be able to just blog away... that's life in blogging!

One foot

Moving forward in the not so easiest of days starts with getting out of bed first. I think people sometimes forget that all too important step and jump straight into the "just put one foot in front of the other" speech. While that is great advice and does help get you from point a to point b, sometimes the hardest step is the one before the ground. Too often you find yourself feeling that internal struggle saying no one will miss you if you hide in bed today, besides it's good to have a day, right? But too often that day turns into weeks and the weeks into months, etc... So yeah as rough and tough as it maybe, take that first step, roll, jump, skip, climb, but get out and then slowly one foot in front of the other make yourself proud as you reach the top of the mountain and look back at everything you accomplished along the way. Lives will be touched, people will be changed one step at a time.

Days we reflect

We all have those days when we reflect on our lives. Certain holidays, any meaningful date, and of coarse days that are designated for reflection. To be honest, my life is full of reflection, not because the calendar says so... but because I have SO many reasons to.
Many have asked why I blog, and more why I have two blogs... My answer, simple... I always want to be able to go back and remember- remember it all. The good, the bad, and yes- the ugly! The ugly has made me who I am, and in those darkest moments shinning stars always seem to come out. That silver lining!
I have so many people that shaped my life to really allow me reflect on things I have and haven't done, but I do know I can always do more.
Dates will come and go, but it will be the people that will always make them important. I plan on making my days here as important as possible!

Looking back... that's what I've been taught!

Right in Front!

"The little guy on the pole always gets all the work." We've all heard that before! In some cases it is very true. But often that work makes you want to jump from the nearest bridge. Well maybe not that bad, but the thought maybe in your head as you see yourself pushing someone off a mountian... can you tell it's been a good day? Anytime I am asked a question that can easily be answered by the data in our system I want to chuck my computer out the window look at my broken window and reply... "gee, I wish I could access that, but it seems my computer is not currently available, maybe you should try YOURS!" I guess a girl can dream!  And while I am blogging my life away (rant away rant away my inner kid is pounding on the key board). I would LOVE for someone to tell me why someone can have a "vision" of how they want a project completed and fail to share it... they simply just keep making corrections on what you turn in and say "I'm thinking of something different than that..." ah.. okay? LIKE WHAT? The road path street is getting awefully thin! Am I on vacation yet? Oh and the report you asked for, it's printed and on your chair- RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

Weight

Weight of the world, Weight loss, weight gain, weighted grades, weighted down, weighted voting areas, weighted feelings...
Ever notice how much our lives revolve around one little word? WEIGHT! There are some that get up every morning and slip into anything that is in their closet. Then there is the rest of the world, that sit in front of there closest hoping that what they pick out won't embarrass them (or others). They hope they can get through the day without loosing a button, or busting a zipper. They pray at the end of the day the line on their stomach will go away by bedtime... Yep weight.  Living on a treadmill, elliptical, running, or a class for some is the rat race that in some cases feels like an endless race to the fridge more than it seems a smaller size.
Why do we do this? Cause for one we grew up in the "clean your plate clubs" only to learn that less was more! We have weighted ourselves down with all sorts of troubles and found ways around them time and time again... often cake...
I smile today as I know I will go home with my gym shoes on ready for the gym (taking off only Wednesdays and Thursdays- and some Tuesday's) and throw myself at some workout... why... well for a few reasons: Not because I have some complete low self esteem that says I am a cow and need to get right... NOPE! I know all things considered, I may not be perfect but my scale has yet to ask for relief. Not yet anyway! No, I'm heading to the gym because well I can! I can walk, skip, even jog a little. That is a HUGE feet all things considering. I want to continue being able to say that exact statement for years to come. I want to stand at everyone of my children's weddings, without help. The weight of the world... at times, weighted feelings, you better believe it! So as I gain a few pounds and loose a few, I know that every day I hit the gym and knock out a 5k on a treadmill, elliptical, or bike I didn't just win another day for me... I won it for them! Weight... a battle of words I think I'm winning...

Truly Awesome

Today was one of those days... the days that just flows. But what was even better was what I witnessed. Elizabeth was invited to a birthday party, dropping her off we were asked (begged) to stay. Her older brother who is 16 was all to willing to "help out" in the realm of Lazer tag. The first rounds showed just what a great shot Lizzy really is, and what a good sport and big brother Erik is. The two of quickly "owned" that place among the 30 or so other players each round and it was funny watch each round come end and they would fly out for the final scores. Then turn around and congratulate each other on another job well done. They worked  together to "work" the game machines and amass a huge amount of tickets to combine them in the end for prize time.

When we got into the car on the way home, my normally 16 year-old always jumps in the front (that rite of passage), but not today, nope he continued his time with his sister sitting in the back seat as they relived their time together.

I have moments in my life I look back on with my sisters and laugh and smile as the memories live on... today will be one of them for them... yea... Little E and Big E... had that truly awesome time together today and no one told them they had too...

The night before... Little E was bowling with her big sister... you think this 10 year old won't look back at her life one day and think "WOW... how cool..." Well you better believe it! I think it's truly awesome how they spend time together- and enjoy it!!!

Bullies... Really?

This is a topic I have never taken lightly. Being the oldest of 4 girls, I truly had the mentality of "don't touch them, that's my job" growing up. Sure me and my sisters got into some fights, sure we got into some nasty name calling- I won't even go into some of the rather cruel nicknames we have for each other... but an outsider poking in and saying something... now you've crossed the line! Prepare for battle! Seriously! I was never afraid to get dirty.
As I got older, it got a little more personal. People got more person. It no longer was about my Dad (who no one knew) or about what I was wearing (or what I wasn't wearing). No, it became about the person I was (or who people assumed I was). People became CRUEL and I do mean CRUEL.
As I look back on life, I do hold my head a little higher knowing that I made it through some of the hardest years and didn't give up. But I also know that I endured some of the harshest, meanest, nastiest, and cruelest treatment from people that really didn't know ME, didn't know anything about ME, or what was going on in MY life. They simply made a quick judgement by what they saw on the outside.
I live my life today knowing that my darkest days, the darkest years when people where beyond cruel and when I had to make the hardest, loneliest decision of my life, was one that I grew the most. Not just as a teen, but as person. I saw people for who there were- sure, but I saw people for who they weren't. People that didn't speak to me and I didn't know all the sudden had an opinion about my life and would throw the nastiest comments my way. The hallways were filled with just trying to get from one class to another without being ridiculed by people I couldn't name. Talk about miserable. But then there were others, people I had known since grade school, people that were "friends" that simple made their own decisions without ever speaking to me. Talk about cruel, talk about lonely... it was beyond dark, beyond lonely...
After a few of the darkest months of my life I went to a Valentine's Dance with a guy that went with me, I truly believe to show the world I wasn't a monster. That night, I floated... we never dated... but I never forgot him. As I struggled to re-find myself in the world that year, my classmates judged my every move and made sure I knew it. I would never be the same. Life would never be the same.

Now, I that know the outcome from my high school years, as I look back from those years I think... how does anyone really ever survive? I hear the constant tales of bullies and the mean spirited tricks that are played out in the halls today. When will it end? Why as a society do we feel that we have to be better than someone and tear them down to let them know we are? We raise our children teaching them they can be anything they put their minds to. We reward their every efforts only to put them into a shark tank with other children that what to kill their every attempt. I see the spirit die right in front of me and yet often adults in power often say "there's nothing I could do", or "I had no idea".  How can you not know what goes on right in front of you? How can you be that detached from the people you spend an entire day with 5 days a week? The things I learn from talking to MY own children in 5 minutes scare me... To prevent the cycle, it starts right at home. Always! For me, I am glad to have the chance, to know that this year, this day, this hour... I have won...
While my bullies may have grown-up and are raising bullies of their own- The punch to the face I took in high school and all the other cruel treatment I endured -stayed in high school. The decisions I made have lived on! Yeah... I know in my heart, I won!

Growing up together

Along time ago I became a mom... like 16 years ago long time ago...
I think anyone that has become a mom would tell you when the hospital staff hands the baby in your arms there's that moment when you look into the baby's eyes and think to yourself  "I have NO clue what I am doing... this is NUTS!  We've got some serious growing up to do!"

We'll I'd like to think WE have! As a matter of fact I know WE have! The Mom I was the day I took him home (the Lord did help him) is certainly the same Mom but a Mom that has learned and grown-up.

Sure I still like my music... and I like it loud! Sure I still like to have fun... I know my friends Jim, Bud (light), and Jose but with limits now! And Sure I like staying up late... as long as I can sleep in (and not just because I have to write a paper for school!)!

Yep... I've grown-up, but along the way I dragged a little boy with me, sometimes kicking and screaming with alot of  "why's and it's not fair". I guess I've got this parenting thing down right.

Last night, I watched my son hold a sad bearded dragon that is just beaten down (soul wise) and seemingly lonely. He just held Spike and reassured him that he was loved. Now that's grown-up.

This morning I peeked in on Mr. Spike and he had his little "swagger" back sitting in his tank with the look of "I'm loved" puffed out on his chest... yep... he is!

I as a parent- I taught that. My son learned it... and he carried it on...We've grown-up... together!

We've Grown... some taller than others!

 

 TLC goes along way

 

King of the Tank

Helpless

There are times in your life that you are superman or superwoman. You leap tall buildings and solve all the worlds problems. Nothing stands in your way. You are on top!
Then there are those moments in your life that for everything you do, everything you are, you can do nothing to fix things. In some cases, its just the way life is. A child in a hospital can bring a man to his knees and make him cry. He'd give anything to fix his child and is totally helpless, all he can do is hold her (or him) and reassure the little one he isn't going anywhere... Mom's have gone mad watching their children do the craziest things as they let them "fly"... helpless as they have to watch from a sideline, a kitchen window, or anywhere as their youngster takes that step growing up... helpless knowing they can only do so much!
As we get older, other events happen reminding us quickly, we may have learned "everything", but we don't have all the answers and quickly those helpless feelings creep back in. Loved ones become ill, and while emotional support seems great, it doesn't ever feel like enough. You still feel helpless. You can do a million things... but at the end of the day there will always be certain things you just can't fix... leaving you feeling helpless!

I love you Grandma!

Thanks for teaching us to always have fun!

Spare Time?

I laugh every time I look at the log in for my account... Aubrissparetime.... when do or did I ever think I would have that? I guess it was an internal joke with myself that only my fingers got as I typed it out... The best joke was- of course it was "available"... no one else has my name... and NO ONE else has "spare time"...
In the last month I read not one but two books... I'm going to start on my third, and they are NOT school books! And... it really hasn't been spare time. But I have found something in reading those books, it hasn't been so much about reading them as much as it has been about the time.
I am amazed by all the things we cram into a day- we are masters of the universe and at a click of the mouse can "tour" the world and back again. But time... we are always wanting more. It's never enough.

Today I received a "thank you card"
It read...
Thanks,
What a great thing to do!
What a generous touch!
You made my whole day,
and I thank you so much!

Hand written- Special thanks for going above and beyond. You keep things going for me. Regards,

To say I needed that would be an understatement. The funny thing is- I simply was doing what I do... but in my "spare time" I guess I do try to push the envelop just a little farther and try just a little more to be a little better.  That's my Life... life in blogging... life in my spare time!

Tiny tiny world

I love to read other blogs! I also love to promote other blogs! Not because I think it will boost my status in the blog world, but because sometimes there are messages out there I real feel passionate about and I want to make sure their story is heard.
Blogging is one of those mediums that is super easy... say what you feel, post a photo or two and BOOM the world can see it. People can share it, and just like that its worldwide... REALLY!
Nothing was/is more clear than a family I have been following because of someone that brought their plight to my attention (another blogger). I didn't know them personally, but their story touched my heart. I shared their blog and once again we learn how small the world is... someone I know well, knows them and knows their story- well!
I think sometimes we forget the power of the "forward". That "connection" to the world. Sure its easy to forward/share a joke- who doesn't love a good joke- I do! And who doesn't like having something funny to smile at, but its the "hard" stuff that we often think twice about. The stuff we linger over the "share/forward" button and then think twice...
I'm glad without hesitation I took a story from my blogger world and shared it in my Facebook world. Not because I wanted a pat on the back- oh heavens no! But because for a minute it brought a family in Japan and a family in Florida real close! I am always amazed when I post anything and people tell me they know the person (how did I find them)... it's a TINY world and it just got a little tinnier.

Thank you for reading my blog! Don't "share" MY blog because of THIS... share someone's blog that touches you, that is struggling, or that you know just needs that love. You never know the connection your "sharing" will actually create!

Holy Hurricane Batman!

So here we are... a "big" event in the Tampa Bay area... pick one... the Republican National convention- or the pending DOOM of anyone that lives in a flood zone!
For those of us that are totally use to the "sky falling" the alarms being sound are rather commical at best. The cone of uncertianity is just another reminder that FEDERAL funds that get cut for "important projects" maybe should be held on to just in case... I think the victims of Andrew, Katrina, and a scad of other storms would agree. But enough politics... I have to say I LOVE hurricane watch. I know that is probably horrible but it totally cracks me up how normally sane (I guess that can be debated) people can lose their minds when a storm might come. We forget everything we have ever been taught and simply run to the store and buy beer. Now I'm with the next person, when the storm hits and we lose "everything" I think I want to drink my woes away too... but you can only keep the beer cold for so long people!!! Move to harder stuff- I mean let's get real- they pass out ice (I guess so we can save our food or something)- but shoot... start mixing it with tequila and get rid of all juice before it goes bad!!! Now that could cause you to go mad... food waste!

Live it up... take some time to sit back and relax... a storms coming... this one's going to be FUN!

A week to change things

You know when you have a secret but you can't tell anyone, or you have good news but you are afraid if you say it you may ruin it? That's been my week! The past several weeks Rich and I have been doing things in our lives that could turn them fill up side down... NO we didn't join the peace corp! I don't think we even could... well I don't know maybe we could, but I have no idea how. Anyway, the biggest "secret" about it is we won't know if our choices will have any affect for at least 3 weeks and in my case 90 days! No we are not having a baby! In the meantime we just have to sit and wait and HOPE and Pray for the best. Oh and not explode! While I TRY not to be too hopeful or pick out new curtians (just kidding) its one of those things that once its all set in stone... will have some big changes in store... the suspense is KILLING ME!!!
okay... I'm done!

I haven't shared enough of Michigan's beauty... so please enjoy!

Vacation

If there is anything that Rich and I do to "work/save" our relationship its vacation. We do it well, I mean REAL well... We have a core area we love to visit and we don't really go overboard, we just "get away". I think if anything we have found that to be the key. It doesn't have to be a super 5 star place, but 4 stars with some extras always helps. Rich is great at finding places and timing always matters.
The kids... we have our family vacations, but we have found there are times that the kids need a vacation from us.
It's funny how we get to a point and we just find ourselves looking because its time... weekends are our time, but often have many things crammed into them, so our vacations become really OUR time. The time we don't worry about time vacations. Nothing says vacation like laying in a beach chair or by the pool and wondering what time it is or which day it is... cause you do need to eat! Yep... vacations! I highly recommend them! I love my Florida!

  This isn't Florida... Maldives, but so many places we stay are just like this... love our walks on the beach!

Being Proper

Taking the high road... It's something your parents try to instill in you from an early age. It starts with that "turn the other cheek..." and moves to deeper harder lessons. Knowing when to speak and when to walk away. Then when you do speak knowing what to say and what's too much... Sure you can throw 1st Amendment into any argument and say its your right to speak your mind. But at what cost? Is being right all the time at the cost of others worth it? Also, I think sometimes people speak without thinking the total impact what they say will have on others. I myself am no exception... but what to do... how do you fix what you have said?

Feelings are one of those things that are personal. While some might say "get over it"... I disagree to a point. I think people need to understand the root of feelings before ever asking for someone to get over them.

 There's nothing like doing something no questions asked and someone coming in from nowhere and swooping in when it works for them and just being "cool". How can that not cause a flood of emotions? Anger at the top! It's always easy to come and go cause you can, but when you choose to stay... that's when the choices become reality!
I don't walk away... I don't get over it... I can't really be proper when it comes to those feelings... mainly because I have to deal with what's left over... thanks!

Frustrated in my bubble!

Have you ever been somewhere and just laughed till it hurt? Spent time with great people that just loved on you and made you feel wonderful? Then returned to the "real world"...  Most people call that Monday! For me that couldn't be farther than the truth! After spending 4 days with women that totally shared similar vision and loved on me in many ways, laughed with me over "butterflies and rainbows", and saw into a future where I am Queen of more than just a cool stapler... I returned home in stages. First my house... while my dogs LOVE me... I mean REALLY love me, so much so when I was finally HOME they laid on top of me to almost guartee I wasn't leaving. The children... while there are three you can expect the outcome of my return to differ. My oldest- Miss Amanda was sleeping when the car pulled in and jumped out of bed to help me unload my car, gave me a hug and wanted to hear as much as possible. My middle (still feeling the oldest in his heart) Mr. Erik... was TRYING to sleep and closed the door... I annoyed him with my return as he is an "athlete" and as such grumpy as he was he would talk to me in the morning... he HAD to eat Mac and Cheese at dinner and he HATES Mac and Cheese! (Glad to be home!) My "baby" Miss Elizabeth- sleeping on the couch, her buddy had left earlier having decided not to spend the night. I sat down next to her and she instantly wrapped her arms around me (still sleeping- as she does- inherated from her mother and grandmother) telling me how much she missed me and loves me. I told her I missed her too and it was time for her to make her way to her bed... little did I know in a few short hours she would wind up in my bed (something that NEVER happens). Last my hubby, very casually welcomes me home... :)
My return MONDAY did not go so smoothly... I was quickly reminded why I had looked so forward to my trip to begin with. It had never been about leaving so much as about being away from what I like to call "stupidness". As I sat in my staff meeting today I was snapped right back into my frustration. It was everything I could do from screaming... I make how much for this? While others sitting at this table make how much? Then came the moment that just really made me scratch my head... I came back from lunch... walked past one person, signed in, went upstairs to my desk. (Normal) Then one of my co-workers and I spoke for a few minutes and she went downstairs to "cover" the desk, after a few minutes she came back upstairs and asked said "the person I'm covering for wonders if you can cover".... REALLY? Cause I was just there and she didn't speak to me... Bubble popped! I looked right at her and I said- have I ever given you an issue? So why do we act like this? Are we in kindergarten? Bubble Popped! So I grabbed my water, my CUTE bag... and headed down the stairs... she was already gone....
Someday I will figure it out... till then... I guess it remains true Life in blogging....

My Sunday

Today I am "working", learning, and bettering what I am trying to accomplish in life. I will travel home Saturday. SUNDAY will belong to the people that make my life what it is. I have a great life. While I know I joke sometimes I think my kids are trying to see if my head will pop, and I do think my hubby likes to see if I am paying attention, I truly am blessed. As I hear woman speak on hardship, I am reminded how blessed I am. My husband makes sure I life like a queen... his queen. I am so blessed. I am so grateful for my life and the man that took me as his wife... Saturday night... I'll be back in his arms and I'm looking forward to it!

Life is about love!

Over 11 years ago I moved my son and myself to Florida.I got married and completely changed my life. A few years after that my life took on an even bigger change... but most know about that! I say often my move was never a leap of faith it was love... my life is all about love.
Today I was asked to help out at the ball field. Nothing new and nothing I am not used to doing. Rich was on the field doing his thing, and I was in the stands doing mine... (looking good I might add). I had my thermal with the infamous personalization I added "Umpire Wife" something I am very proud of... and I was set to watch a good game. Then came the request... I was needed across the street at another game. To say that I was a little disappointed is an understatement! That was NOT my plan for my day. It was another hot day and while I was prepared for the heat, I was prepared for a game to watch my hubby, not be apart of the game... But life is about love and sometimes you have go with the flow. As I walked towards the stadium to let him know where I was going to be- he pointed across the street... he knew... (they had talked to him first I learned later) I headed back over hoping to see some of his game but knowing in my heart based on the level of play, he'd see me in "action" way before I'd ever see him. And just like I figured, I heard his game end and our game continued. It was a good game and I was glad for the "mercy rule" despite the team not wanting it to be used (something you rarely see). I do get tired of the parents! I was pleased by the father that did say a few times, "I think we have forgotten they are kids and they need to enjoy this!"

Life is about love! Love what you are doing... love your children and for goodness sake remember YOUTH sports should be something they look back on and LOVE....

 

Keeping on

A nail to the skin is generally cause for alarm... most people seek medical advice knowing that there is a shot involved... then there's my daughter... Last year she stepped on a nail! Yep! OUCH! We headed to the Doctor (who by the way is her HERO, her mentor, her well you get the point) and Dr. WinnneBUURGERRR  (that's how we say it cause that's how she said it when she was a baby) informed her that you aren't suppose to step on nails! So she had to keep it clean and she would need a shot but she would be protected from nails and metal for 7 years... GREAT! So yesterday my little darling was playing hide-n-seek- Lizzy style of coarse! And well you might have guessed it... now has a "nail scratch". As we talked this morning about her need to "see HER Doctor" she beamed... WAIT! I'm good for another 5 years! While some people attempt to stay away from danger, my daughter looks at the shot as a license to run straight towards it! GOD HELP ME!

Seems like yesterday!

That's my girl!

Self-esteem at the mall

Just about anyone that knows me knows I have hair... lots of it! For quite a long time it was super long and it has always been curly. Something my Mom told me long ago I should be grateful because women pay thousands a year trying to get what I had naturally. November I went with my daughter and donated over 10 inches of my hair to a very worthy cause. At that point my hair got its curl even more defined with the weight lifted. At times I attempt to straighten it- Ha! I live in Florida and the humidity laughs at my attempts. My husband is never fond of the look, he likes my curls, its me he says!
So image I am walking with my daughter in the mall when a woman doesn't just say hello from her little kiosk, but makes a point of coming way out into the walk-way as we are coming towards to her and then further more makes a big deal of approaching me. Ah okay? She wants to know what I did to my hair this morning? This morning... ha! The night before I "assisted" in some backyard construction- today was about time with my daughter- I combed it! She continues... ohhh, look at your hair, as she grabs a clip and starts putting it in sections. Then she starts in with a straighter... now this is were my daughter is laughing, as she is making all these statements about how great my hair now looks as this "cloud" is coming from my hair and she tells me it doesn't damage my hair. She even went as far as taking an area and looping around to produce "straighten curls"- whats the point- you just straighten my hair and then put two curls in it? Then she straightens another strain making it look super baby fine and says when was the last time you saw your hair look like this... be honest... your were 6 weren't you... At this point, I take the clip out... By six, my head was FULL! And for the record my curls were in... So the true answer... more like 2-3! Bite me! She made few statements about the product and many nasty statements about my hair... did she really think I would pull my credit card, cash, or check book out because she had crushed my spirit? I don't go to the mall for an ego boost! I guess what I am saying is that when did sales turn to being the school kid bully? I guess I missed that day- GOOD! I could never look at someone and trash their choices in life and then tell them I have the right answers cause clearly they aren't capable of making them. I'm not sure where she was from... but where I come from that just doesn't cut it! So smiling big and enjoying my hair... one curl at time!
    

TIME

Do you remember that moment when you realized becoming a real adult was just around the corner? Remember when you were wishing you could grow up faster- then you did? Years seem to fly by and all the sudden the time you thought you had is gone. You look at life and think of all the things you should have done, the lessons you didn't listen to, the stuff you didn't get to... Crap... I wish I had... Then before you know it you are an adult full of responsibilities. What?!?! The only thing you want to do is have fun, hang out, enjoy your life... not so! You either go to more school so you can make a living, or you get a job so you can make a living... either way you quickly learn that all that wishing to be older added up to wishing you could be younger again.
Life is crazy and no matter how badly parents harp... kids will grow-up doing it their way... and then find out... their parents knew something! Enjoy being a kid, but work hard, study lots, cause once you're an adult it's WORK- real WORK! And always remember have fun!