Sunday, February 19, 2012

Heart lessons

Maybe it's because I am getting older, maybe it's because I am worried about forgetting, but more and more I have been thinking about the life lessons of my youth. I was quite blessed to have spent time with a man who was a gentle soul and taught life long lessons in some of the simplest ways. I spent a summer here and there going to my grandparents with a least a sisters or two. When I was super lucky I would have a week to myself, but when I didn't, I'd stick with Grandpa and hang with him often "staying out of trouble". Meals were a highlight, often on the porch with minute-maid lemonade and it never fail some argument over what type of sandwich or soup was the best. I am the oldest so naturally I had to be right... right? I remember in the heat of one argument, Grandma had enough and came in and let us know we were done talking... she was quite firm and we didn't question her. After lunch was over though, I really wanted to make my point, Grandpa Sam was sitting in a chair reading a book (I thought he was ignoring us) so I started to remind my little sister how old I was, when I heard him tell her to go inside and help grandma with the dishes... oh great! He looked up from his book and looked at me, then out at the lake (talk about summer vacations!) and he said words I have to remind myself of even today... "You always want to win, you always have to- who doesn't? It's hard to lose, it hurts to lose. Aubri, there will be times in your life when you have to ask yourself if it really just that important to your heart. If it will save someone to be right (a car is coming) then you have to argue your point to make them see so they don't get hurt. Normally your are fighting about opinions, beliefs, feelings- once you start challenging someones feelings you already lost, because you can never tell someone how they feel about anything." He went on to then say something I carry with me today, "Each time you win a fight, you break a little piece of the other persons heart in the act of the fight, always make sure your arguments are worth that much of your heart, because you won't always win!"  I walked away, part of me feeling sorry for myself, Grandpa didn't side with me and knowing my actions had let him down. I walked around (another GREAT feature about "the lake") into the fields and climbed a tree. I remember sitting there thinking "shoot, it was just a stupid sandwich, and how many times are we asked what we want... the two of us never do say the same thing- go figure!" I did go back and tell that little snot that I didn't like her sandwich choice, but I thought it was "neat" that was her favorite. I don't know if she cared, I do remember now she ate it every day that week... so maybe! BLAH Grape! I look back now and think- I don't remember my grandpa ever "fighting" with anyone- sure he voiced his opinion, (Lions- Tiger season OH MY!) and always welcomed others- but "FIGHT" nope... He'd ask if there was butter, salt, or pepper on the table, cause it wasn't within is reach but he never raised his voice about it. He'd ask if there was juice (there always ways and he knew where it was- in the fridge) and my grandma would pop up from the table or whoever else could get there first to get it for him, but shout? Hmm... a dog "bit me", and while I vaguely remember it. I remember my mom me about how she had to plead with my very upset paper-in-hand Grandpa has he smacked Clyde- I had provoked the dog with a kiss- using both hands of coarse! His whistles while he walked around I surely miss, and the sound of his shuffle I STILL LOVE to hear around the parts I shop (in Florida), (yes I will wait VERY patiently to let some elderly person find WHATEVER just to listen to the shuffle). But what I miss the moss are the heart lessons. I don't always stand down when I should, I know... but I like I told him all those years ago... I am making sure that I try to fight for what I need to, and stop when I know it is just not that important. I have my heart pieces.... and I want to make sure I keep them, and while I am at it, not take any away that don't need to be lost!

Sunday, February 5, 2012


I feel sometimes all I ever do is complain. I fear that sometimes that how people might see me "the complainer". Yikes! Who wants to be that person? Often when things are going so well in my life I am so wrapped up in those moments I forget to stop and take a moment to let everyone else know how great they really are.
I was looking over my blog posts one day and notice long gaps in between posts and then rantings on other days. Hmmm... it seemed when life wasn't going quite my way I would make time to post the "horrible" news, yet when things are bright and sunny I am far too busy to let those that love me, know just how great things really are. I guess the comforting part to all that revelation was there there huge gaps in my postings... It would leave one to thing that the good days far out weigh the bad ones. Well at least that's how I decided to look at it! Sure there is that daily moment when I am driving and someone cuts me off and it's all I can do to want to "cycle" through my weapons on blow their car up... but then again, since my life isn't a video game I am forced to remember the hazard light button isn't a rocket launcher and I can't blow up the car in front of me, no matter how hard I try. It's in those moments that I laugh, if that's the worst part of my day. I have it pretty good!
Today was day two of horrible back pain. I walked all over the place hoping to "loosen" it up. All I really managed to do was make my feet sore, but hey it draws my attention away from my back, so I guess there is a bright side after all. :( The best part was spending the day with the kids. They were alot of fun today. Not something I get to say everyday, but they were. Anyway, despite being in a ton of pain and grateful I can type in bed, I have to look at the big picture! My life is full, full of craziness! But just when I think, wait a minute- this stinks! I am quickly reminded how good I really do have it! I am beyond blessed, and I know it!