Monday, October 14, 2013

A Deeper Scar

This morning I was fixated by a woman behind the counter at our local Dunkin Donuts. I've seen her several times, and she is the sweetest thing. But today something or I should say somethings caught me by surprise and rather off guard.
While it's never polite to stare I found myself lost, fixated almost at trying to figure out the root cause. Did it matter? Is my life really affect? Or should it be? Maybe that is the true question!

She didn't have one or two, but rather the whole top of her left arm and the left side of her chest was badly scared in what appeared to be one of two options.- a brutal horrific experience, or an ongoing personal long-term series of self-inflected pain (DEEP cutting). To be honest, as I climbed into my car thinking of the depth of the scars, I couldn't grasp which would be worse. I really wanted to go hug her and tell her she was loved. Maybe that's what she needs regardless of what the root of the cause, I don't know. But it made me think of the deeper scars that many carry, that go unseen, unnoticed, unexplained.

This month, October, a call for Domestic Violence Awareness is being promoted by wearing purple. When I received my tee-shirt, I put it on proudly, and asked others to join me and help bring awareness to a "silent scar". Little did I know at the time that all too quickly a little 2 year old would be front and center in the news as a horrible domestic crime putting a boyfriend in jail for murder, and bringing a pro-football player to his knees asking- Why? How odd- his team colors- Purple.

Time and time again we hear stories of little children, babies, too little to defend themselves, killed or seriously injured by tempers. Women beaten for saying and doing the wrong things?

While some scars are visible for the world to see, other scars are deeper in the heart, the mind, and in the soul.

Too often people shake their heads, "why don't they just leave, walk away from someone like that?"  Just image being a prisoner in your mind, believing you have no hope, no where to go, no one else, this is what you deserve, and if you do leave they'll find you and make it worse for you in the long run. Trapped. You play "nice" and hope your survival kicks in until you finally have a way to truly, safely, break free.

But the scars, they run deep. They haunt you in the night. They make you look behind your back and double-lock everything, until you are truly able to take a stand and fight back and say enough is enough.

Will I hug her the next chance I get? You know, I just might! We all need a little more love and security in our lives ... and who knows, it might be the difference in her life!