Monday, April 16, 2012

A little laugh

Sometimes people do get what they deserve. I know that seems a little harsh, but from where it is coming from I am not sure how else to feel. Being cut off and tossed aside as though I didn't matter and nor did my feelings- (or my families) you sometimes just sit back and wait. You never wish bad things on anyone- that's horrible! But when people pretend to be something they are NOT- in the end it always catches up to them, one way or another, life has away of equaling out and "righting" itself. I'm not one for "revenge" - I have no need for something so silly and such a waste of time and energy. No, I have found, while it may take weeks, months, and in some cases years, people do in turn have to face the music. After all- everyday people have to get up and at some point look at themselves. If they lie to themselves everyday from the start... it makes for a very long day.
I am happy with my life! Truly I am. People have asked me- do you feel that your MS is full circle for your "just deserve"?  That may be... I know I was by NO means perfect... I also know that I was by no means evil either. I know that along the way I may have hurt people, but in many cases I do feel I was equally hurt. Does that make it right? Probably not- have I ever tried to justify my actions- nope. I take my actions for what they were and have learned from them in so many ways. Regarding my MS... hmmm I think of all the "other people" in this world and yet with me, I have become so much stronger since my MS. For me, it was almost like a gift, a second chance. Yes, I know my "end" won't feel like that... but till then, I will always find a way to laugh a little. Mainly because well- as mean as this sounds- there are so many that have said I would fail- and I don't. There are so many that have doubted me- and I continue to soar. There are people that cut me out because I wasn't good enough or they found issues with me- that has been their loss- NOT MINE! So I am the one with a little laugh today... mainly because I see the BIGGER picture, like I always have, and I know even though it really isn't about winning or losing... I WON!
Leonid Afremov