Self-esteem at the mall

Just about anyone that knows me knows I have hair... lots of it! For quite a long time it was super long and it has always been curly. Something my Mom told me long ago I should be grateful because women pay thousands a year trying to get what I had naturally. November I went with my daughter and donated over 10 inches of my hair to a very worthy cause. At that point my hair got its curl even more defined with the weight lifted. At times I attempt to straighten it- Ha! I live in Florida and the humidity laughs at my attempts. My husband is never fond of the look, he likes my curls, its me he says!
So image I am walking with my daughter in the mall when a woman doesn't just say hello from her little kiosk, but makes a point of coming way out into the walk-way as we are coming towards to her and then further more makes a big deal of approaching me. Ah okay? She wants to know what I did to my hair this morning? This morning... ha! The night before I "assisted" in some backyard construction- today was about time with my daughter- I combed it! She continues... ohhh, look at your hair, as she grabs a clip and starts putting it in sections. Then she starts in with a straighter... now this is were my daughter is laughing, as she is making all these statements about how great my hair now looks as this "cloud" is coming from my hair and she tells me it doesn't damage my hair. She even went as far as taking an area and looping around to produce "straighten curls"- whats the point- you just straighten my hair and then put two curls in it? Then she straightens another strain making it look super baby fine and says when was the last time you saw your hair look like this... be honest... your were 6 weren't you... At this point, I take the clip out... By six, my head was FULL! And for the record my curls were in... So the true answer... more like 2-3! Bite me! She made few statements about the product and many nasty statements about my hair... did she really think I would pull my credit card, cash, or check book out because she had crushed my spirit? I don't go to the mall for an ego boost! I guess what I am saying is that when did sales turn to being the school kid bully? I guess I missed that day- GOOD! I could never look at someone and trash their choices in life and then tell them I have the right answers cause clearly they aren't capable of making them. I'm not sure where she was from... but where I come from that just doesn't cut it! So smiling big and enjoying my hair... one curl at time!
    

TIME

Do you remember that moment when you realized becoming a real adult was just around the corner? Remember when you were wishing you could grow up faster- then you did? Years seem to fly by and all the sudden the time you thought you had is gone. You look at life and think of all the things you should have done, the lessons you didn't listen to, the stuff you didn't get to... Crap... I wish I had... Then before you know it you are an adult full of responsibilities. What?!?! The only thing you want to do is have fun, hang out, enjoy your life... not so! You either go to more school so you can make a living, or you get a job so you can make a living... either way you quickly learn that all that wishing to be older added up to wishing you could be younger again.
Life is crazy and no matter how badly parents harp... kids will grow-up doing it their way... and then find out... their parents knew something! Enjoy being a kid, but work hard, study lots, cause once you're an adult it's WORK- real WORK! And always remember have fun!

Family Day!

Today is a National Holiday... in the Middle of the week... so the first thing my kids wanted to know- "WHAT ARE WE DOING?" Hmm... Rich (my hubby, their dad) has to get up at 4:15 am and I have to get up... tomorrow AM... so... Let's see... I can tell you what we are NOT doing... We are NOT driving some where far, parking our car, walking even farther and sitting and waiting... for a 15-20 minute fireworks display that can't even start much before 9- 9:30... then when its all over, walking back to the car through the hoards for people only to sit in traffic with the same rude people and find our way back home hopefully before 12.... I am pretty sure in 1776 there wasn't a "let's party, drink beer, grill, and be rude to others type atmosphere... but then again, they also shot each other when times got tough. Sometimes I wish I lived back then. Not because I wish I could shoot people, although that would be nice at times, I am not sure women were allowed to "dual". That seems like more of a "manly" activity, so I would have been a rebel, then considered a "witch" and oh, here we go again... what ever would I write about then (since blogging would have been on this weird thing called pen and paper- and no one would ever see it- bummer).
But back to the whole "family day" thing.... It's almost 9 so that means my neighbors are trying to show their manliness by blowing up the neighborhood. Which would be great if they knew what they were doing and my dog was scared out of her mind. I think she knows they are clueless.
Nope, this year I am pretty happy I got to watch my three kids today- spend the day together. I am pretty sure it will be the last one... As they get older, their priorities change and the "who" they spend their time with changes as well. We were all kids once too... But today, on this holiday, they were mine...

And I enjoyed every minute of it!

THAT conversation

Sometimes you wonder when you write something or say something who reads it, or who hears it. Does someone take it the wrong way and run with it in the wrong direction? Do your words end up starting a war when really you were just venting some frustration that deep down inside you would burst if you didn't get it out in one way or another? Then you find out, in one way or another... that a morsal, maybe a crumb got through. Maybe not to everyone, maybe to only a few, maybe not to even the right person. That person may never see or hear your words (that may be a good thing too!) But it is good to know sometimes that when you do find ways to express yourself and someone does take the time to digest it, understand it, and then think about it... they can understand the difference between attack and personal feelings. Its funny how many times people will fight because they are right... and never think that so is the other person (in their mind). We all get to have that moment when we make a choice, that choice where we say to ourselves- "is this really worth it?" In some cases it is, but most of the time, it really isn't... THAT conversation came from someone to this day I hold in the highest regard. I miss him so much, it hurts sometimes. He was right most of the time and yet he hardly ever really argued... funny... wish I could have just one more conversation!

Clear Lake, Big Rapids MI

Alpha

Many studies have been done about dominance in animals. The "pack theory" is one that I truly live by with the animals I have brought into my home, knowing that animals will in some cases cause serious injury to one another to establish "the alpha". In some cases when a dog is in their mind "the alpha" and another "alpha" comes in you can get a mess on your hands as the two try to maintain their roles- regardless of size or age. Both my dogs are considered small and our "pack" is pretty much Dad, Mom (as it should always be in a house) but then the dogs find their way in... Fergi our smaller dog (and older dog, she's 8) is totally the ring leader but will act as though she isn't and will take Sasha (whose 6 and taller and a little bigger) and put her in her place whenever they "play". The kids... well they "listen" to them when they ask if they want to go for a walk or if they want a treat... that's where that ends....
Then there are other "alpha" struggles... being the top of anything takes work- hard work. At work you learn early that you have to fight to be noticed sometimes, and once you are you have to make sure that attention is always positive. Not an easy task! Its hard to make sure that your actions are always in the best intentions and not "one up menship".
Finding your place in the world can be rough, I think sometimes we often resort to showing our teeth first, biting second, and extending our hand as a last resort rather than the other way around. Trying to be ALPHA! We have to be "top dog"- show em', whose boss! But in the end we are surrounded by wounded "pups" that either fear us or hate us, or simply bite back any chance they get because they are hoping they get in one good bite and prove they too are worthy enough to be considered "ALPHA"... It's a struggle that I don't think people even realize sometimes, and I don't think people realize how destructive it can be. I do know that sometimes being the "top dog" at all costs isn't worth it!