Stuck

I'm totally stuck in my moment right now unable to move. It happens from time to time. I want to yell, scream, even cry if that would help. But I know in my heart none of those actions would solve anything. I'm just stuck. It's hard. The answers are a big unknown, causing stress bigger than life. I feel sometimes I am in a parallel universe living another persons life. My tummy rumbles, my heart aches, sometimes I actually do cry but to no relief it makes... I'm stuck, stuck in the middle between forwards and just standing still. There is no where else to go currently, because I can't just leave, so I'm stuck. It makes it even harder watching what goes on around me, knowing what I know. People think I have no clue, little do they know... I'm a whole lot brighter than they give me credit for. Yet they turn to me for all the answers, still I'm stuck, and it weighs on me. This isn't the way life was suppose to be... just stuck...

Totally Cute

My hubby is a grown man, that is for sure... But to this day it is so cute when he wants me somewhere and I have other plans. He doesn't say anything, but he does have almost that little get pout about him. The sighs, the "no, it's okay, really", and all the other little things, that say yep, it's "okay" but I really wish you were with me... It's totally cute, and I totally love him!

Communication

Speaking is one of those things I truly believe people take for granted. Feelings get hurt so quickly, often without words ever being spoken. Actions that were intended for one purpose are taken as another, and people run with hard emotions, instead of taking a moment and looking at all the facts. I truly believe that wars start because people do not know how to speak, and think others should do it for them. People who know me know that I say what I am thinking, and I fight my own battles- most of the time. It is VERY rare that I will have Rich speak on my behalf, and even then I am standing next to him so the person is aware that I am "behind" the message. See I have learned that many things gets lost in the game of telephone, we've all played it one time or another, and we all laugh at the last person who blurts out the phrase in the end... burnt sausage sunrise! WHAT! That's not what I said at all!!!! Yep- telephone is dangerous! And so is being upset about anything and never actually talking to the person to find out what really was going on... CONVERSATIONS and true communications can save alot of hurt feelings, relationships and prevent war! I have yet to see a war without casualties... No one is really ever the winner... there really is never a "good" outcome... and sometimes PRIDE is just a little too much... olive branches are all around, but sometimes people rather grab and smash them, and make statements, than actually communicate what they really feel...

Completed

The money is paid and I am hoping that I just may be completed with BS degree! I know I am done with all the BS that goes on within my classes. I look around and all I can think is these are the people that are "earning" the degree I am? WHAT! But then I remember- MY GRADES! I listen to my classmates complain about barely getting through their classes and "staying active" and I scratch my head trying to figure out what that means- I have completed 105 credits (am currently taking 3 right now and have a 100% in that class) so I have 12 more to go (hoping to get out of those with my PLA) and I am sitting on a 3.87 GPA. Yeah, I took it seriously! Why wouldn't I? But that got me thinking, I took it seriously for many reasons- what happens that people pay for school yet kind of attend? Don't get it! All I know either way I walk WITH my husband in September and I can't think of a better thing to do!

Couple little words

I am in the middle of total stress- work, to the point where I sent it home- something I hate doing, I was driving to pick up my girls only to take them with me to a meeting. That is when I get the first text- "don't forget the girls"- yep I'm on it- and everything else in my insane life. I let him know what is going on and he comes back with a couple little words I really needed "love you". It's amazing how a couple words in a text can change things... I still had to get the kids, I still had to get to the meeting, and I still had work waiting for me when I got home- even though when I woke up this morning my plan was to go watch him umpire his game tonight. Plans change- but his love for me never has, that gets me through... best couple little words all day!