Timeless Parenting

As each year passes, I find myself thinking back to the beginning. Rolling up to the field and trying to convince Elizabeth to stay in her stroller. That was a losing discussion from the beginning. She was off to the races right from the start. She always has been.

Now, over 10 seasons later, and many trips to the Doctor and ER with all of the kids, the one thing I do know is I wouldn't miss a single moment for anything!

I still get excited with each crack of the bat, every play, every awesome feet they accomplish. And while I am the first to help bring them back down to earth and remind them Nike isn't knocking at our door signing any deals (yet), I am definitely their biggest fan!

Being a parent is a timeless act.

I know how delighted I still get when something I do makes me swell with pride, and yet the first think I want to do is share it with my parents (who live several states away). My parents have never shied away from congratulations in fear of creating "big egos". They also weren't afraid of knocking us down a peg or two. We grew up, and they have never stopped being parents... Timeless!

Nothing felt better than hugging my daughter last night and telling her how proud I am of her. Not just because in 5 games in two days she had 2 in the park home runs, and 3 RBI's (yeah I can brag a little- it's my blog!) But I am proud of who she is, as a teammate, as a person, as my daughter. If they had lost every game, she would have gotten the same hug!

I hope years from know she'll look back on these years and not remember the trophies or awards she received (those are great too), but remember all the people that were around her. The friends that hugged her in the dugout (or pounded her head when she scored). The high-fives she got from coaches and their non-stop encouragement. The times her Dad coached her and worked long hours with her to help her grow or was her umpire and set her straight. The times she spent with other trainers working hard to get better. And lastly, the fence... when she looked through the fence what she always saw...
It's awesome being her mom. It's awesome being a mom to three great kids!!!

I love watching them grow and can't wait to see what life will continue to bring them.

Are we there yet?

Sometimes I wonder where "there" is. How do you know when you actual get there either? So often people spend there lives searching for something or somewhere, they miss out on what is right in front of them.

I am truly blessed by an awesome supportive family! And I know it! I have a husband who knows how to work every appliance in my house- and does! I have kids that can cook- and do. I have pets that, well, are pets, but show affection in their own way.

I hear people complain about their jobs, how they "hate" corporate American, how they are so happy to live a life free of it (when they leave it). I also hear them complain about their family and what they don't do... seriously? Be grateful they are here! My husband and I work in the public sector (government work) and have never had the "high paying" crazy outlandish salaries people complain about with government work. Not that I would complain... No, we have done the work. Put in the hours (and then some). But not received that pay everyone just assumes all government employees make.

But more importantly along the way we have helped many people, some we knew, most we don't. Our biggest hope was and is to be an example to our children in the same way our parents have been for us. Rich followed in his Father's footsteps and it has led to a great career (and a retirement already!). As for me, I watched my Father pack a suit case for years and travel all over the country on a moments notice to help out several different companies in need, and my Mom's kindness and empathy always impressed me as she dealt with various people. In the dental field I took that compassion to heart, and in my government position I melded both lessons (leaving the suitcase at home) to learn how I could service my community better.

Are we there... yet? Who knows... But I do know that we are very blessed to have great teachers in life that set a path for us to follow. Our road continues to have all sorts of bumps and turns, and with my awesome husband and family... I thoroughly enjoy the ride!

What I've learned at 6:30 am

I am NOT an early bird. I'm not really a late bird (or night owl) either. No I'm a pillow puff. (Aubrism) Give me a nice comfy relaxing place and soft pillow and Wham! I can sleep. (See other blog for details!) But I have found that since my school schedule ended and I have no true desire to start a Doctorate, my "alternate" work schedule hasn't changed one bit.

Coming in to work at 6:30 am has provided me with several insights. Mostly about myself, but some about people, in general.

For one, no one makes coffee in an empty building. When I arrive, I am the first one here most days. I'm here before security. So I'm on my own, literately. No coffee, and no security. Just me and my key card. Locked doors behind me, and hopes no one "finds" there way in.

Sounds are louder when no one is around. I hear everything when I am alone. Yet have the ability to tune out everything when everyone arrives. Peoples phone conversations, doors opening from comings and goings, and even the occasional ring of my own desk phone when I am working on a project.

My hair looks awesome at 6:30 am! Not so much at 4:30 pm. Who knows if its the Florida weather, or my playing with it during the day when I get frustrated, or taking my sunglasses on and off my head all day. But by the end of the day, it shows. Want a "fancy" picture of me? Schedule it early! That's all I'm saying.

Although I am not a "big breakfast" kind of girl, I do enjoy my complete alone time before people arrive to sit at my desk, work on stuff and eat fruit or whatever without being bugged.

I have also learned that when it comes to getting stuff done- it is the best time for me! But I have to be careful. I have sent emails, only to get phone calls from people surprised I was in and then wanting me to look into more or hoping I could take on more without asking my boss. I have returned voice mails (to their voice mail) only to have them call me right back with the same results. So I do review and answer carefully. There are whole groups of people that know I am here and know they can get a hold of me, in a pinch. But that I am using my early time as catch-up time.

When you come in early- you leave early. But I have learned some people don't understand that concept and get upset when they see you leaving. Even though when they arrived to work (almost two hours later) you had work waiting for them on their desks, and you had emailed (or replied to emails) making it clear you weren't at home sleeping in the comforts of your bed... Nope, even before the sun was up you were hard at work answering the unknown.

The biggest thing I have learned at 6:30 am is that I really do type loudly. No I mean it! I thought that my keystrokes weren't all that bad, but man does my keyboard take a beating.

Okay, seriously, I've learned that one of the best things is that when you are struggling in life, all the prayer warriors are up (well most of them anyway). And they are quick to let you know they are thinking of you and will keep you in their thoughts. (I KNOW NOT WHERE YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING).

I am always grateful to all the people in my life that take the time to "follow" what's going, share a laugh, and understand that some things we just have to roll with, some we pray about, the rest we blog about.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Kids and "their" legacy

Often I see parents "living the dream" through their kids. The "Monday Morning" quarterback gives new meaning once they become a parent to a child protege. Fights break out (among adults) over the simplest of things, clearly "little Jeter" should have been safe... And no one wants to mess with a parent who is well versed with "the rules". (Well their version of the rules anyway).

I have coached/managed youth sports in the past. I have also sat in the stands during various sports including soccer, softball, baseball, and football learning all along the way- no one is ever really "right". I have learned to walk away. Disagreeing, I might, but arguing, I hold my tongue, saying nothing, and simply nod allowing the other parent (s) to voice their frustrations, and then... walk away...

My hope in the gesture, is that I leave a level headed legacy my children can appreciate. One that my daughter sees as non- confrontational. I don't NEED to be "right", to be "right".  If other parents feel they "won"-okay. But I didn't look like a foul over pettiness. To me, that really is "winning".

As for my kids, I want their legacy to be the same. I want them to hold their heads high. Sure, I don't want them to back away from things, but I also don't want them to fight for the fights sake. I want them to know real compassion. I want them to have honor in the actions they show others. I want their hearts to be a beacon for others to aspire to. At the end of a game, I want others to be encouraged, not because of how many hits or runs my child had, but because of how she lifted her team and encouraged them winning or losing. I want my child's legacy to be one that is talked about for all the positive reasons children should play sports.

I want her ability to laugh at herself and have fun to carry her through her hardest days in life so others see that struggles aren't that bad and do build character. And most importantly, I want people to know, that being close to your family is truly a gift and my kids were stronger because of it. I want people to understand that while my husband and I may not have steamed up the corporate ladder and barreled our way through to the top, we did something even better, we raised an awesome legacy! We are so proud of all our kids and the legacy each one will leave behind.

I LOVE how well rounded she is! One week... Choir concert, softball fields (practices and games), Field Trip, and then Orchestra with me- not to mention school!

Who will show up?

Thinking about it, I sometimes wonder. If I were to die today, who would show up? Would it be people wanting to make sure I was really gone? Or would it be a room full of people consumed with grief over the loss from the many ways I have touched their lives?

My hope, the later...

So often we go about our lives collecting business cards, adding Facebook names, putting names in our phone contacts, and boosting our "network". For what? Are we impacting the lives of those people, or hoping those people will answer our call when we need them most for whatever cause we call on them for.

From the kids fundraiser to a too short notice out of town trip with needed pet care, we rely on the contacts in our lives we see flash through our lives, hoping they will respond. Acting annoyed, even, when they have other things on their plates. Seriously?

But then in a flash, it all stops. One day you are gone. It might just be old age, it could be all those sodas you said you didn't drink (when no one was looking). Either way, there's the obituary in the paper that a family member spent hours trying to write. Wanting to honor you, not forgetting anyone, or offending anyone, but also not acting as though you were a patron saint the Vatican has somehow overlooked thus sending the people who really knew you into needless eye-rolling... yes, the end has come... what did your legacy leave for the ones you left behind?

For me, this day will come. I am fully aware of that. It won't come for a billion years, (okay, maybe that's a stretch) but since I live my life like super-mom leaping tall buildings (or at least jogging to the car for an inhaler during a softball try-out) I am sure everyone is stuck with me.

Being stuck with me actually means a few things!
Living your life for others is really not that hard. Its not the "being a mom" living your life type. Sure, picking up the kids and running around seems like fun. Sure! Who doesn't want to live their life in the carpool lane with all the other happy Moms (and Dads)? No, I'm talking about looking around and seeing what can't be done and doing that. There are so many people in your own neighborhood that struggle for some reason (age, health, income, etc) and just need a little help. In some cases, its just knowing you are there. How hard is that?
Remember growing up? Remember how you knew all the people in your neighborhood and they knew you? Name 5 of your neighbors now, and their kids! Not so easy... yet if they came out panicking because they were missing, would you help look? I would.

Each day we wake up and make decisions. We decide what we wear, what we eat, and who we talk to.

Be intentional in your life. Make decisions that say- I showed up. I care. It's not just about me.

That's how I'll be remembered... one day...